How can your child s is in three stages is the solution

How can your child s is in three stages is the solution I once heard a call from a desperate parent? My fourteen years, is the son non-stop on everything. It 'so bad that if is this? I threatened to Boot Camp? I thought? This must be a serious problem? The teenager was adopted at the age of two, has some early trauma. His father was a Vietnam veteran retired, which usually is at least an indicator of exposure to a traumatic environment. None is significantly higher than that of the mother? History. As the child has been skipping class and combat practice, I gave the parents? The three suggestions to follow for the next two weeks: 1 Make sure your child is in all her lessons daily. Call the instructor, by e-mail, you must do to ensure he is. If he is not, then we have to that question first. Whether he wants to quit if wrestling. Continues to struggle and stress, it is not worth it to be a positive experience at this time. (This argument is simply fodder for a whole article!) 2. Spend 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with your child every night, so to speak to him everything he wants. Tu off the TV and the newspaper, listen to what he alone? S about.3 speak. Most of the solution is: If it is, several deep breaths. Look at him with sadness in his eyes, because now the fear of driving a lie. Ignore the lie, but don? T ignoring him - I say? Son, I love you. You are never anywhere, and everything will be alright. Do you understand? Once Nods agreement, and take a walk. Do not lie. Wait one hour. Once calm, go back to him. Stop what you're doing. Take him by the hand, look him in the eye and say:? Son, you know I love you right? I love you very much. If I tell a lie, it really scared me. It hurts me, because I told you not? T trust me. So I'm afraid that I can? T safe. I need to know that you can trust me and everything will be alright. Do you understand? Once the child Nods his head in faith, you are officially Solution.Telling step three, the truth is very difficult. If telling the truth was something simple, there are only few cases of lying. When a single, unconsciously, afraid of being rejected, abandoned, ridiculed, or shame, the prospect of honesty is daunting. To view our history, after two weeks I have not heard back from parents. Finally, after six weeks, I received a telephone call was from his mother. Exclaimed? Hello, Dr. Post, its Sharon from Califoia. So that was more than two weeks, but we win? T believe my son has a tu! In reality, he also found work at local pool. Hallelujah. The recommendations were not magical. What is the magic, if the parents are able to see things differently. Two of the recommendations alone: 20 minutes of spending continues with his son every night and told him? S never somewhere might be a significant difference for themselves. In the U.S., the average level of quality parent-child time is 13 minutes! Note that it is almost doubled. In addition, John Bowlby, the father of the theory of investment, that the threat of the loss is equal to the loss itself. In other words, one should never be a danger, you send a child, because his behavior. If so, you will create more fear, only to reject it trigger? Ve already. This will lead to depression, anger, and the need to become better. Thousands of parents use the solution lies in three phases effectively. More than a handful of parents who were once their children and have not told a lie since. Although it is easy, simple, not easy. It can be difficult to put into service, but it is very effective when you use it.Copyright finally? 2006 Dr. Bryan Post. All rights reserved.To Lea more about the solution of your child, and defiant behavior, visits and   B. Bryan Post PhD, LCSW is an inteationally recognized expert in the treatment of children and families with problems related to trauma, investment and connectivity. A free copy of Dr. Post? Parenting Book S, for all things season and the last article can be downloaded from